What Are Policemen Made Of?

...taken from Paul Harvey...

Don't credit me with this mongrel prose. It has many parents - at least 535,000 of them. They are policemen. A policeman is a composite of what all men are - a mingling of saint and sinner, dust and deity. Culled statistics wave the fan over the stinkers and underscore instances of dishonesty and brutality because they are "news". What this really means is that they are exceptional and unusual, not commonplace. Burled under the front is this fact: Less than one-half of 1 percent misfit that uniform. That's a better average than you'd find among clergymen. What is a policeman made of? He, of all men is at once the most needed and the most unwanted. He's a strangely nameless creature who is "sir" to his face and "the fuzz" behind his back. He must be a diplomat so that he can settle differences between individuals in a way that each will think he won. But, if the policeman is neat, he's conceited. If he's careless, he's a bum. If he's pleasant, he's a flirt. If he's not, he's a grouch. In an instant, he must make decisions that would require months for a lawyer. But if he hurries, he's careless -if he's deliberate, he's lazy. He must be first to an accident and infallible with a diagnosis. He must be able to start breathing, stop bleeding, tie splints and, above all, be sure the victim goes home without a limp. Or, he must expect to be sued. The police officer must know every gun, draw on the run and hit where it doesn't hurt. He must be able to whip two men twice his size and half his age without damaging his uniform and without being "brutal". If you hit him, he's a coward - if he hits you, he's a bully. A policeman must know everything and not tell. He must know where all the sin is and not partake. The policeman must, from a single human hair, be able to describe the crime, the weapon and the criminal - and tell you where the criminal is hiding. But if he catches the criminal, he's lucky - if he doesn't, he's a dunce. If he gets promoted, he has political pull. If he doesn't, he's a dullard. The policeman must chase bum leads to dead ends and stakeout 10 nights to tag one witness who saw it happen but refuses to remember. He runs files and writes reports until his eyes ache - all in order to build a case against some felon who'd get dealt-out by a shameless shamus or an "honorable" who isn't. The policeman must be a minister, a social worker, a diplomat, a tough guy and a gentleman. And, of course, he has to be a genius, for he has to feed a family on a policeman's salary.